cariadwen

Last night we went out to the Persian (Iranian) restraunt to celebrate Sean's birthday.

Jani was worried as the pills she is taking causes her to need the toilet often, she was also worried that she wouldn't be well enough. I was also worried about whether it was too soon to expect her to be able to cope.

However there were some things that would help. Like for instance Sean and Alan would be picking us up at the door and dropping us back at the house, therefore there would be no driving for her.

Sean rang the doorbell and we followed him out to find the car. Now Jani's car is parked right outside our front gate. We followed Sean and he seemed not to be able to find his car! Jani was exhausted before we went very far and leaned against a car parked behind hers. Sean kept walking down the road and I realised he didn't know what he was doing stopped following him. He started looking at the cars across the road, when i went back to Jani to check to see if she was alright. We both looked for someone sitting in the driver's seat. The only driver we could see was the very car we were nearly sitting on. It was Alan and Sean's car!

Now how Sean (who isn't interested in cars, admittedly) didn't recognise his partner's own car I don't know. How he imagined he walked from the other end of the street or even the other side of the street, when he got out near our front door I don't know. Or why when Alan saw us all walk past the car (or as he said 'waddled past') and didn't pop his head out to let us know, I will never know! But it was funny!

Even funnier was me (being fat) being so wrapped up against the cold I couldn't do up my seat belt, and struggled for a full 5 mins. It wasn't that I couldn't get enough belt to lock it in it was because I couldn't put my left hand over to hold the seat lock still while putting the both things together. And I found it impossible to do it one handed.

Anyway the restraunt was nice, clean and friendly. Laury another friend was already there. I have never tried Persian food before and enjoyed the whole experience. Jani not only was ok, she blossomed in the company. The courses were rather slow in coming but as the comapny was good and the conversation flowing no one really minded. The bill split 5 ways with the tip wasn't bad either, £18 a head. We came home a little later than we expected after having an enjoyable night.

This morning I made a pancake batter for breakfast, and Jani felt well enough to do some cooking for the first time since she's been here. So I left her to it. She asked how I wanted it, lemon and sugar I said. Where is the sugar she replied. In the big glass coffee jar. When she brought the pancakes in, I thought O that looks strange. I tasted it and thought 'O heck it tastes strange too, perhaps it needs more sugar.' I went into the kitchen to search for the sugar only to find that she had used coffee to flavour the pancakes. As she thought the coffee was dark brown sugar, not the light brown sugar i use, she had been very libral with what she thought was sugar on mine because she knows I have a sweet tooth. :)

This afternoon we both went to St Wergbugh's city farm. This was to walk Storm and see if any of the Wassailing was still going on. We arrived two hours after the start and it was all over by the time we got there. But we decided to go to the city farm cafe which is built like a hobbit house. We parked Storm outside close to 2 other dogs and went inside. It was very crowded with tiny babes in arms to children up to 11 and lots of alt. community peoples. Taking a window seat we could watch the children playing on the extensive climbing frames outside.

We got back for me to realise I hadn't brought my keys with me and we were locked out. Mr jenkins upstairs has some spare keys as I have done this one or two times before. But i couldn't get him or anybody else to answer the door. By this time Jani needed the bathroom urgently, so we had to adjourn to a nearby pub! honest! once we came home again we found that Jani needed the bathroom again. This time however after a lot of knocking on the other flat dwellers bells we finally got in again. Jani was exhausted again though and she very nearly dropped asleep straight away, and slept for a few hours.

These updates on Jani are in particular for her daughter Kate who sometimes pops in to read it.

The herbal sleeping tablets worked! Jani slept for at least 3 hours before I went off to bed. true she stayed up writing her book, but that's normal for her and she had slept quite a bit during the day. this is what she needs to get better, so I'm happy to see it. I went shopping and came back with chocolate eclairs, she woke up ate hers then went back to sleep having entireley forgotten she had done so! She has dreamt of chocolate eclairs though!

jani hasn't really slept well since she arrived here 3 weeks ago. Most of it was because she was so ill and lying down with lungs full of water made breathing impossible. As that improved then it was (IMHO) stress and side effects of her medication. Eg. The diarectics drained the water from her lungs but gave her diaorrhea(sp?) Other tablets make her light headed and she has strained her neck making it very painful to turn her head and put it on the pillows. Also not sleeping during the night makes her nod off for a few seconds and because she is uncomfortable, shoot right back awake again. I found I had one herbal valerian tablet left last night and she managed to get an hour or so before she got up to work on her new book.

This afternoon she had an appointment with the practise nurse at the surgery behind the house for blood tests and she was given a prescription for a painkilling cream for her neck. While I was at the chemists I got a new batch of herbal sleeping tablets. I couldn't find pure valerian oil of the root, which to my experience is the best but did find on the is made from a compound of hops and valerian. Now both herbs (yes hops is a herb!) have a reputation for being beneficial for sleep problems. As she can hardly keep her eyes open this evening, she's taken two and thought she'd watch back to back Time Team, an archeology programme we both love until she fell asleep. She fell asleep almost straightaway. lets hope its for a few more hours.

It's Sean's bday today, he is 42! lol He phoned a few hours ago to ask if we'd both like to join him and his partner on Friday for a meal at a new Persian restraunt. Jani and I've never had Persian food before and this will be a treat! We will be picked up at the door and brought back to the door, so there will be no stress on Jani to drive and she can have a few drinks if she's up to it.

The housing people didn't phone back so we have no idea if they have or haven't found her forms yet. The last thing you need is the stress of dealing with officialdome when you're ill, just getting your point across is stressful. So I've suggested that when she phones them tomorrow she should hand the phone over to me if the going gets sticky. I'm not saying I'm superwomen in any way, as I find officialdome difficult to deal with on my own account, but when dealing with other people's problems I can be much more direct.

I have also been having difficulty in sleeping. last night I went to bed at a reasonable hour (for me) 23.00 but couldn't sleep for hours. My old fashioned music centre, radio, Tv and Pc is all in the other room with Jani. So I've been hefting things about today and now I can listen to my old meditation tapes, cd's and stuff if I too have difficulties sleeping. Of course we are both reading books, Jani is reading two at the moment, Kate Griffin's A Madness of Angels, I'd highly recommend it and Lyall Watson's Lifetide, a scientific forage into the Gia Theory. I'm reading Mark Chadbourne's Destroyer of World's which is good but far too dark and grim right now for my taste. I might start another lighter book to read inbetween, perhaps a Pratchett?

We are running out of food! Nothing serious, neither Jani nor I are into the idea of starving, so it's a big food shop tomorrow. Jani and I can do it if she is up to it, and she leans over the shopping trolley as a walking aid. I don't drive and the local shops aren't cheap nor can I carry the shopping by myself. I can get small items but not a weeks shopping for two.

Jani phoned the rehousing team today once she was properly awake and they have lost the forms she took so much care to fill in. To be fair they sent it off so some independent firm in the north of England so they could put it into the computer and they claim they haven't recieved it. Rob the housing officer said if Jani wasn't well enough to come back to the office, they would come to the flat to fill it in for her.

We have decided that she won't be well enough. and that I shall put her into the bed in the kitchen for the interview. Probably under a potato sack or something! With a lot of stressed muttering. It might help things along if he could see how she's living.

BTW the Tv is off but she has the remote again. lol I have agreed to the tennis and she has agreed that if I show signs of being stressed then it would go off.

Jani slept for 45 mins and quite soundly I managed to switch the TV off. When she woke up I told her what I had been doing, that is complaining about her and tennis, we had a laugh about it. When I got up to get her 'second' breakfast (1st was a warmed bap with bacon, 2nd her usual bowl of muesli with bio yoghurt) she snatched the magic wand back and it's now in her control. Though the Tv isn't on for now.

I hate sport!

I really do!

I mean it!

I'm typing this while the sound of tennis balls are bouncing in the background. I would rather tear out my eyes than listen to the sound of balls of any type.

I like to listen to music or a TV programme in the background while I'm cruising the web, not tennis.

Ok ok it may seem I'm over reacting but I'm repressing a scream here. When it isn't tennis it's bowls. Yes you read it BOWLS! Indoor bowls at that!

Ok I know it is something Jani is interested in and as she is ill and can't go anywhere, it's harmless enough. But we are living in a small room on top of each other and when I suggest we might listen to something else, ANYTHING else she claims to be watching it. When she falls asleep and I reach over and change the channel the sound of no balls bouncing makes her wake up, so the sport goes on even when she's asleep. I have sat there with fingers in my ears, anything to shut out the noise, and she hasn't noticed!

I had a conversation with another friend one day. She was trying to tell me all about a tennis match she had watched. I explained that I wasn't interested in tennis. She continued. I explained in a much firmer voice, again I wasn't interested. This upset her for some reason I can't fathom.

She objected, but surely I had some interest in it. No none, none at all! But surely you've heard of ....... everybody has heard of ........ No I haven't! How can you miss it, it's on the news all the time. Because I never ever listen to the sports news as I can't see why it is classified as news at all.

Would anybody be interested in me describing how I knitted a jumper once. How I knitted one plain, one pearl and how I finally cast off? No of course not, because it is a boring conversation, that's why! Now why is it so strange I don't find sport interesting? In fact I shall go as far to say, my skin crawls at the idea of watching it yet alone having a convo abut it.

Then there is the noise. A lot of noise.

Jani's natural TV volumne is loud very loud. and it's alway on and I mean always, even right through the night. Ok I know she can't sleep at night and needs something to lull her, but why sport and why argumentative people in political chat shows or the sounds of people dying? I have on occasion sneek in and changed it to the sound of deep velvet voices of radio BBC4, or to the classic music of radio 3. Something to lull her with and satisfy her need for noise, and something that doesn't grate with me. But she wakes up and changes it back.

I'm noise sensative. Noise jangles me, makes me jump, literally! I'm always asking her to turn down the volumne. I sleep in the kitchen but even then I can hear the TV and I can't sleep. Ok we have resolved that, she isn't completely insensative, she keeps the living/bedroom door shut at night and I keep the kitchen door shut and the noise is managable at last.

A couple of nights ago she went to make herself a sandwich while I was asleep. She tiptoed about and when when she tried to get the bread out of the packet I awoke suddenly and said. Storm! Leave the rubbish alone and get out of the kitchen! lol Jani left in a hurry! lol I shouldn't laugh! I'm getting much crankier as I get older.

10.06am She's fast asleep now so I shall sneek over to the magic wand (the remote) and try and change the channel. Fingers crossed!

We buried Jake my cat today. Tom C's ex partner had jusr refenced his garden and C gave him an apple tree that was planted in the wrong place in her own garden. They dug it up yesterday and today Jani and I took Jake for the burial. It was sharp but sunny with a few light showers. The hole was already dug and much too wide for the tree root, so we were able to place Jake by the side of the tree instead of underneath it. I placed his ceramic bowl with *cat* (he never did learn to read) written on the side and decorated with fish skeletons, with a small fish inside it with 3 quails eggs.

C planted the tree, and then we did a wasailling ritual and as is traditional it's first taste of excellent top grade cider. Of course then the bottle was passed around afterwards. We didn't go down the road of the traditional piece of toast in the top branches we put a mini apple pie at it's roots instead. Then we banged buckets, not as noisy as all that because the buckets were plastic. Jani C and I tied ribbons of gold, orange and purple and Tom a tiny pair of bells. Then C planted soft pink tulips, hyacynths, mini irises, blue bells, and violets. She then lit three candles and already the tree was giving off a sense of peace.

She did us proud, she really did!

Jake my cat died about 5ish this morning. I was up most of the night stroking him. I've wrapped him up in a beautiful woolen shawl and he's lying in state on my rocking chair. I have a friend who has dug a large hole in preparation for an apple tree. Jake will be underneath it. It is what I would have wanted for myself, though I think Jake wouldnt be that impressed unless the tree would bare fish instead of fruit.

Yesterday I visited C as she said she was ill and in need. What was really going on was she wanted to share a bottle or two of champaign with me and knew I wouldn't come if she had said that. We had a good conversation while downing tow bottles of top class champers. It ranged from ethics, Shakespear, factals & the finger print of god, Haiti and the lack of American aid reaching them and why this could be, and the interconnectedness of all things. It was suprisingly sane and rational and one of the best convo's I've had for a long time and that wasn't because we were both drunk. A part from the bit about how nice Jani is and what a shame I couldn't talk her around to being friends with C as that would give Jani some good luck in her life!!! That was a tad mad.

I got home around about 8pm not being too clever with getting a meal on. jani has been a bit better lately so i asked her to put a pizza in the oven and also a rhubarb crumble. It wasn't too difficult for her and it was suffient a meal for us both.

Jake my cat: Hasn't been eating and not leaving the foot of my bed, so I've been bringing a shallow bowl of water for him to drink. This morning while I could see him taking large breaths I felt like his life was ebbing away. He was stiff and heavy very nearly cold even though he was wrapped around the central heating. I spent most of the day putting a drinking bowl underneath his chin every time he licked his lips. At one stage he placed his head in my cupped hand and left it there. I stayed in that position for an hour of two until the feeling in my hand was numb. This afternoon I just needed to curl up and cuddle him, and I went to sleep. When I awoke I was suprised to find that he had lifted his chin off the bed and was gazing in that way cats do when they are 'meditating'. He also took a tiny amount of food from my hand. I don't think he can last much longer. I pray to Bast or Freya to make his passing as peaceful as possible.

We've been busy.

Wednesday jani had to go to my doctors for a ECG on her heart. this was very difficult because although it was only the distance of 20 houses, I walk with a stick and feel frightened of walking in the slush and Jani hadn't left the house at all since her illness and could only walk a few steps before getting breathless.

Jani had an appointment for an xray at our local hospital yesterday. Although she has her own transport she can't drive because lack of air in her lungs makes her light headed and we couldn't afford another taxi fare, so we were offfered the hospital ambulence service.

This isn't an emergency ambulance, more of a van adapted to special needs which picks you up at your own doorstep. We were told to be ready and waiting at 8.30 onwards. Now Jani has never had need of this service before and no matter how many times I explained it to her she just didn't seem to understand the concept! She's an extremely intelligent person, this isn't because she is in anyway lacking. I have had experience with this system because i used to be a carer to two elderly people. You need to be ready because they don't have time to deal with people faffing about looking for their handbags or keys while the rest on the bus is waiting. Plus as they are going from house to house getting extremely disabled people out of their houses and dealing with traffic jams, they had not much idea on when they will be there to pick you up. I tried telling her that it would be about 10am ish before they get to us, but she sat next to the window asking where it was. 9.50 they came.

The young woman driving the bus tucked us in and did our seat belts (I was included to keep an eye on her) and got us there despite the snow, we were almost at the front of the queue. The receptionsit asked the young woman if she'd wait for us, the driver said no she had other people to pick up and the receptionist said we would be ready to be picked up by 11am. Which in my experience was quick.

They were done with us by 10.20, Yayness! Then we had to wait until the ambulance bus came to pick us up which was getting on to 1pm-ish. By this time we were dying of thirst and there was no water cooler, and the restraunt was quite a walk away (the hospital being over a large site and was almost a village) If we had gone for a cuppa 10 - 1 that would have been the time we should have been picked up. All in all it was a good experience and we were understandably exhausted afterwards.

Today we had a 10am appointment at the housing centre. We could have cancelled it for another when Jani is a lot better but we wanted to get the whole thing over with asap!

We arrived by taxi this time and got there with 10 minutes to spare. There was already a queue, one or two rough sleepers and a group of quite tiny but glouriously dressed young women. The door was locked and a burly security guard came round from the back to warn some of the queue he would not open the doors until the very minute of 10 and all the knocking on the doors will get us no where! Jani was by now really desperate to sit down and there was no where she could do this. A new tiny blonde woman arrived and kicked the door, the security man let her in because she said she had an appointment at 10. Well it turned out she didn't, but all the rest in the queue did and they weren't happy about this. Jani tried to get the security man to understand that she was ill and needed to sit down but he was very rude to her and this upset her quite a bit.

When we were let in, in a rush again we were met with rudness until we got this very nice young man who said he was dealing with her case. He escrted her and I to the interview room and took care to explain everything to us. then as she had a lot of forms to fill in afterwards allowed us to use another empty room to do that. It took nearly 2 hours to fill in the forms. Not that they were difficult but Jani had to explain herself on nearly every page and each time she did so, she was reliving the horrors of being stuck on a freezing boat, being trapped and having men hack the ice off the partly open door to get her out. Plus she was serious when she said she wasn't feeling very well.

The young man was sympathetic, but admitted he had never dealt with a person from a boat mooring before and I think he thought she was exaggrating or sexing up the circumstances in order to get preferrential treatment. Even though I felt he believed this he was still on her side IMHO and felt that she would get a class 2 banding, which means she almost certainly be able to pick and choose a place. He also told her that she could be eligble for sheltered housing which is always available because people don't like to admit they need that level of care so those types of property are usually turned down. When sheltered housing first came in there used to be a carer that was shared by the whole complex who was at the bidding of an emergency bell and used to run errands for you. But that was expensive and open to abuse, both ways so now-a-days it's more of a concierge now.

The medical and housing inspectors will inspect the boat, then they will know for themselves that she was in no way exaggrating.

Waiting for our return taxi was a problem as neither of us had our mobiles recharged (silly me, I should have checked this last night) The young man dealing with us lent us his mobile to make the call, they said it would take 20 mins but then they called back to say that they were short of drivers, could they give me the number to another taxi. I told them that we didn't have our own phones, that we were calling from an office and they didn't like us to use their phones, could they do it for us. They did and we only had to wait another 10mins. We got home 3.5 hours after we first set out and we were again totally exhausted.

Jani's brother in the midlands wanting to help and not being able to, told us at the begining of the week that he would be sending a 'parcel' for us. The parcel delivery people tried to deliver it but we were out at the doctors so it was sent back. Meanwhile the boat repairer had done our shopping for us on Tuesday. This afternoon the 'parcel' arrived. It was a weeks worth of shopping with a small bottle of dark rum for me, as thanks for me looking after Jani. It's very appreciated, though as my fridge is small I have no idea how I'll get all of it in. Still it's better this way than any other way.

One of Jani's friend's Simon who mends her boat, did her shopping and brought it around, we have rhubarb crumble twice! And loads of ginger beer! Oh and her emergency box of chocs of Black Magic. I was suprised not just how young he was but by how handsome he is. No bum though! I was at risk from wobbling about on my walking stick going *young maaaan, young maaaan!* :)

It started snowing again last night and when I opened the curtains this morning my front garden was looking like Santa's grotto again!

Jani had to go to my doctors this morning to have an ECG on her heart. She has been having difficulty in walking from one side of my small room to the other so this was going to be an expedition even though the surgery is only 20 houses behind us but it had snowed on top of the ice there already. T her brother has sent a parcel for us and we were expecting it between 9-11am the doctors appointment was 11.05am. Could she make it? Should we cancel? Should I go with her? Should I stay home to receive the parcel?

We decided that I would go with her, I would lend her my walking stick, go early and stop often. I grabbed my staff and led the way like a Sherpa! We got there a little late but we did it! Jani was told that the heart irregularity wasn't too much of a problem. I was able to take her back home and then had enough confidence to go to the corner shop to get more money out of the ATM and buy two cream buns as a reward for us both.

After eating the cream buns I had a phone call from C saying she was found not guilty of harrassing her neighbour. Now she's always been cagey about the charges brought against her it was a 'criminal harrasment' for one neighbour. The neighbour complained that C talked to her about the noise her washing machine makes at night. The majestrates were not sympathic to the neighbour at all and said that it wasn't harrasment at all and it certainly wasn't criminal harrasment. Now if the police had charged her with the harressment of the other 4 neighbours they may have gotten somewhere.

I've just had a very amusing phone call from C. She isn't going to attend court tomorrow because the astrological aspects are against her. My view is she doesn't have to go and her soliticitor doesn't want her there incase she comes across as mad and ruins her defence. She might go to court on Wednesday because her Jupiter is snuggling up with Venus. The police are conspiring against her because they think she has done some major crime. Oh she has psychially devined what's wrong with me and it's my stomach, I need to go 'under the knife' for a hernia operation asap!

Have I had words with Jani and pointed out the error of her ways? That Jani couldn't get into the Oxford commune because she was getting the Karmic fall out for listening to J2 side of things, and all the Mirror spells C has sent J2. Of course that is J2's fault not C's for sending such spells. I said no that's not how it works. She said Karma is more complex than I might know. I said karma if it exists is a lot more complex than that simple single example. She said I simply don't know what's going on in Jani's head and therefore couldn't possibly comment. I said that goes for her.

I put down the phone claiming I need to go to the bathroom laughing. Well I shouldn't really as the woman is serious!

Jani hasn't had a good night's sleep since she got here. She's light headed and her breathing is pretty bad. She gets anxious when I'm not up and about. She puts this down to the traumour of being alone, afraid and completely helpless when on the boat. Also she can't sleep while lying down, I've given her 4 pillows and we have added to that two seat cushions. She needs the overhead light on, and the TV babbling in the background to reassure her. Right now she has the duvet rolled up on top of that pile and I've just placed a blanket over her. She might get off this way. Ah at last she has!

This place is like a field hospital.

My cat Jake is very unwell, I believe he is dying actually. He lies right next to the heater with his nose almost touching it wrapped up in a blanket. I feed him where he is and he gets up about once a day to drink water and to wee. One day he didn't even get up to do that. I don't mean he wet the bed, he's one of those cats that would rather die than do that, he just didn't do anything at all.

I'm living in the kitchen on the two mattresses which are nice and soft and squishy. Only trouble is my right knee is very weak and it is a struggle to get to my feet from the bed. Apart from that I'm coping well enough, and I'm sleeping a reasonable amount. That means I've had difficulties in having a bath, because I can't trust I will get out again. Jani has the same problem for different reasons. We did however manage yesterday with a lot of squeaking and me swearing.

Storm, while not getting any exercise, as nobody is walking her, seems to be coping well enough. I put her on a long lead when she asks to go out and she romps around the garden while I'm holding the other end whilst standing in the doorway. Last night and early this morning jani did this task and found she was too light headed to be able to stand at the door for long. Storm stays by jani's bed for most of the time.

Tomorrow C goes to court for her trial for being a complete bloody nuisence to her neighbours. Although I haven't been out, I will try and get there but I will need to know how we are getting there and when.

Oh she just phoned, asking me to walk around to her house because she wanted me to do a reading for her. I explained I haven't been out for 3 weeks and she said I know that but I wanted you to come over when you go out to get the milk. I explained I haven't been out to do shopping a friend has been delivering food to me. She got very annoyed and slammed the phone down. She said also that she hasn't been well enough to go out herself but yesterday she told me that she was going to call in on me on the way back from her shopping. So why didn't she phone before she went out shopping and ask me if I needed anything? I'm glad she didn't call in though as I didn't want her to know Jani is staying with me*. But it does show that when she says she hasn't been out because she's been ill is a very different kettle of fish from when I say it.

* Four years ago she befriended jani and invited her to share her Christmas with her. Jani stayed over and C and her ex-partner T the father of little A, got very very drunk and it led to a horrible and potentially violent argument. Which Jani caught in the middle had to try and sort out. Since then Jani has listened politely and sympathically to C on the phone when her mother died but has avoided her on all social occasions.

Three years ago something very similar happened with another guest J2. J2 who had been a friend for many years is now no longer friendly at all to C. C has concocted this idea that J2 has spread rumours about C and has turned Jani against her. Claiming it's not fair that Jani hasn't given her a chance to tell herside of the story. She has completely blanked out that she hasn't had contact with Jani for a year before the fall out with J2. It's all a conspiriousy, they have been plotting against her just like all the neighbours have for the last 12+ years. And absolutely nothing to do with the way C behaves. There is no way that Jani is well enough to cope with C's madness right now, so I'm trying not to let the two meet.

Further news on C. I tried twice to get her on the phone and explained in one message that I didn't like her hanging up on me and that we needed to talk about how to get to the court tomorrow. I just got a reply in a nicer tone then before saying that she isn't going, that she is going to let her solicitor handle everything. So that solves that problem for me, I simply don't know if that's the right solution for her though.

Neither of us slept well last night. Jani has spent most of the day on the phone getting the run around from one gov. dept to another. Janit was polite and cheerful and very patient with all the deptpartments she was dealing with, but when she finally got a sorry we can't help yet again, she put down the phone very gently and for just a few seconds wept.

I tucked her up on the two mattresses in the warm kitchen and then got on the phones myself. I explained the position to them yet again. Of course they had heard the story from Jani, they referred to her as the 'boat lady'. Only I had been listening to those calls with Jani telling them how old the boat was and what wood it is made from and skipping lightly over the fact two men had to break the ice off the door to get her out of a frozen boat.

I kept my voice level and explained the situation without the frills of side routes, and I kept it direct. When the care for the aged explained that unless she was unable to feed, wash and care for herself (something she would never admit to, even if true) they were unable to help. I asked what help they could give should this be the case. It was to put her into an elderly care home until she was well enough to be allowed out. Now I know the care system well enough, they would never allow her to go home if they thought her living conditions were not suitable. My kitchen wouldn't be considered suitable and if that wasn't, there is no way a cold damp boat with no toilet would be. They call such cases by the charming name 'Bed Blockers! The young women on the other end was very appologetic and spoke to her boss to try to help. Her boss instead gave us a direct phone number to another dept. that of housing.

This time the young woman on the first line of defence said "Oh yes her brother had been on the phone but we can't help." But she did give me over to her manager who then gave me over to his own boss. Pete the boss came up with a result. She now has an appointment for next Friday (it may give her time to get better) with a homelessness department in St Paul's a district that has a large population of homeless, and alcohol and drug dependent people.

When she was awake I explained it all to her. Good news and bad news. Good news that she has an appointment at a housing resource centre, bad news it was in St Paul's. "Oh no that's not bad news she said cheerfully. "I used to live and work in that district I wouldn't feel at all sorry to live there again.

Now although the office is there it doesn't mean she will be rehoused there. She will have the whole of the city to choose from but she will get rehoused sooner and faster if she doesn't refuse the first three abodes she's offered and is willing to live in St Paul's. She is. No one likes to live there so only the desperate end up there. Luckily the edges have been nibbled away and gentrified with nice middle class homes being bought there. There's also been a crack down on crack houses there and the multi-cultural population have been spread out around the rest of the city.

When I first came to Bristol 16 years ago, I was astonished that there were hardly people of other races living outside of St Paul's, unless they were Indian doctors. As I was used to Cardiff which is so multi-cultural that they were the first to have a Somali community of 130 years and I was made a male for the day for the opening of the first Sikh temple. Only because I was a volunteer at a help centre opposite the temple.

Then we had further luck, the medication she needs was delivered to the door by a nice helpful man for the massive fee of £2! lol Well worth it.

We are going to swap beds tonight, she doesn't sleep well and needs to access the internet for her work, which is in my room. I shall take the mattresses in the kitchen, it's warmer there anyway. She needs all the sleep she can get.

The doctor's been, he said Jani has a slightly damaged left lung, an infection of that lung, slightly raised BP (he was expecting low BP) and an irregular heart beat. But most importantly she has exhaustion and needs as much rest in a clean non polluted place for about at least two weeks. I said she isn't going back to the boat so she'll stay with me until spring if she has to.

He wrote out a prescription which I'll have to take to the chemists tomorrow, if I can. If its icy I might not be able. At least she doesn't have to pay for the medication and he'll do an ECG at his surgery which is about 20yrds around the corner, when she's fit enough to walk there and register with him.

I've moved the two mattresses that live behind my bed turning it into a couch or day bed. And made it up in the kitchen with plenty of elevation, ie 4 pillows.

Somewhere in the early hours of this morning Jani phoned to say that despite that coal and wood fire she has in the middle cabin of her boat, it was getting very cold. She went to the sliding door in the first cabin (where you get on and off) to find that her friend who walked the dog for her had'nt completely shut the door. It was a jar, too narrow to even get the dog through and to wide not to let in all the cold air. She was unable to shut it because it was iced in position. Most of Bristol had -7C last night but as she was in a lower position than most and on water, I recon it would have been much colder than that. I advised her to phone the firebrigade, to get her of asap. She said that was too/overly dramatic and would wait it out for the morning. I told her that if it gets colder that she must phone them.

This morning two men from the harbour worked for a few hours to get her out. Her friend who walked the dog for her, felt guilty about it but it was her who organised the help Jani needed to get off. The car had frozen in place and they needed loads of kettles of hot water to be able to open the car door. She drove up to my house, as all the main roads had been cleared. It was only the car park and my side road that was still snow and ice bound, so she made good progress.

She was in luck and found a car parking space right outside my front gate. When I opened the door she almost collasped in my arms. I poured hot coffee down her and offered to warm up soup. But her breathing was too bad and I wondered if she didn't need proper medical help.

I phoned my own doctor's receptionist and explained that my friend had difficulty in breathing and before I could say anything else the recptionist said "phone the ambulance!" I considered this and thought that while Jani did need medical help she wasn't critical enough to use an ambulance while other people were in dire need. I phoned NHS Direct instead. As they will take time to listen to the problem and will actually phone for an ambulance for you should they deem it nessesary.

I got an intelligent girl who put me on to a qualified nurse, who took time to take all revelant details and chat to Jani, to gage her breathing and her medical history. While Jani was having difficulties in talking she was playing down her troubles again and joking away. I took the phone off her and told the nurse that Jani was scared of being hospitalised which is why she was down playing her symptoms. Then I gave the phone back to Jani and the nurse asked a few more questions.

Jani's family have a history of heart attacks and strokes but the nurse reassured her that it was unlikely to be the problem right now. She did have childhood asthma which she grew out of, the nurse advised her to call out my doctor (who lives right on the next block at the back of me) this afternoon. If she was going to catch a nap that she should elevate her head. I have her now on my bed with 4 pillows, and my cat as a hot water bottle. She is snoring her head off, finally asleep after all that hardship!

I'm awaiting for the doctors home visit.

I've spent 3 hours non stop on the phone, my ear is hot and my throat is sore-ish. Jani needed reassurring and help. I went back through all the emergency options she has, explained to her that she needs to ask for any sort of help from the people in the harbour. I have no idea if it is pride or because she was afraid they wouldn't help but, that was a difficult one. I understand this as when she was at death's door many years ago, none of her friends came to visit her in hospital because her ex-partner refused to tell anybody where she was or that she was in need of them. This has affected her ability to ask for help. She asked me to ask members of the pagan community for help on her behalf. With tomorrow as the latest.

So my first thought who do I know that will help and has a car? The trouble with pagans is we often don't do the car thing, and when we do need one it's the same poor old soul that gets the call. Which is why I try to spread the share, so as not to piss off the next 'victim'. I tried J1 knowing that he was very likely to be working a late shift at the hospital. I didn't get a reply so I assumed that, yes he was at work.

Tried J2 next, she had been in bed with a cold and was nervous about getting into her car with ice on the roads. Fair enough, but she was worried about Jani so asked me to call back to let me know what was happening. I phoned R next, no reply so I texted her the problem. She's a young strong woman who could if needs be walk to the harbour and give Jani the help she needs to get off the boat. And she's very nice and obliging.

Before I could get any replies I had a screeching phone call from C (the person who asked me to diagnose her with a tarot draw over the phone.) She was shouting and babbling, and yelling she didnt want me to shout at her because she wasn't in the mood to cope with me tonight. The gist of things was that she needed T her ex-partner to take her to the doctors and he didn't pick this up from her yelling at him. And he did as he usually does and walked out until she's calm again. Could I phone him to ask him to take her to the doctors tomorrow and give him a lecture on being a caring human being while I was at it. I had to calm her down and explain that while I would speak to him and ask him to take her to the doctors I wouldn't be telling him off, as it isnt the right way to ask someone for help. He calmly said of course he would, and was puzzled at what on earth was going on in her head as all he could hear was screeching.

I phone her back to say he would, only to hear her say that she hasn't got an appointment yet and that she didn't want to have anything to do with him, and I was to tell him that.

Phoned Jani to tell her I had asked around for help and I was now waiting for calls back, to reassure her that something was being done.

Immediately had another phone call from C saying that J2 and J3 had ganged up on her and was plotting against her and I was to tell her what I knew about this plot. I told her the plot didn't exist but was accussed of being my usual argumentative self. After a long call we decided to continue this on email as it gave us both the chance to make our points without shouting.

Then lots of calls happened all at once, some taking place at the same time, one on the landline and the other on my mobile. I have no idea what they were about as my memory of it is gone.

I phoned Jani again and the woman who was walking her dog for her, had come back and Jani explained exactly what help she needed. The woman immediately phoned another guy on the harbour and arranged for him to fix jani's plumbing and help her get off the boat and pack her car tomorrow at about 11ish. yay problem sorted!

Then R got in touch with me to offer help but not right now as she was skidding around on the ice, but she was free to help except for 1 - 3pm tomorrow.

J1 got back in touch to say he had just finished his shift and was walking back from the hospital and could help tomorrow morning before he went to work. I was happy to tell him the problems were now sorted.

I phoned T to tell him what C had said and suggested she was fishing for an apology, he said he was used to doing this and he would oblige. Sorted!

Phoned J2 to let her know Jani was going to come to me to be looked after tomorrow morning all being well.

I really need my email signature written on my head.

I never said I was a wise woman I said I was a w-i-d-e woman!

Jani didn't come to me yesterday. She needed help to get her things into the car and while she dropped heavy hints to her friends they didn't understand that she was actually asking for their help!

So it snowed heavily during the night. Luckily that meant it wasn't as cold as the other night and her gas is now working. Trouble is it means she can't get to me. People have been skiing down the hill I live on, on the main road. The lady on the next boat to her is walking Storm twice a day for her and said she would have offered to help get Jani's stuff into the car had she known she needed help. Funnily enough she was one of the first people that Jani told she did need help last night, and she ignored it. Or perhaps she thought walking the dog was the only help she needed?

The snow is heavy for the south west, we hardly ever get snow to start with and it's due to fall to -7C tonight so it will freeze what snow we already have. I've checked that Jani has enough food and wood for her stove, she is warm enough in front of it. She recons that the fear of being ill alone and incapable is what might be increasing any breathing problems she's been having. I think that the wood burner may also be giving off fumes. But I'm trying not to panic her. I also pointed out that when you need help don't go doing the English thing of dropping hints, ASK for the HELP, instead.

Anyway I'm constantly checking on her to ensure she's ok. She isn't in need of emergency services help yet and there are far more critical people to take care of.

In the meanwhile my garden is looking absolutely gorgous, my rose tree is covered in snow that is begining to melt and refreeze so it looks like chandelier. I have enough supplies to last for ages yet, so am not going out.

As its been icy on the pavements I haven't been out much which means I am now running out of a few things. If the ice melts a bit today I shall venture out but we are expecting snow, lots of snow this evening so the period I can do my shopping will be tiny. However I can do without bread, milk, coffee and fruit & veg if needs be. I have plenty of tea which I can drink without milk, I have loads of rice and porrage oats, plenty of meat and beans. As Jake is eating very little and is turning his nose up at his cat food, I'm giving him little bits of tinned salmon of which I have a plentiful supply. I can withstand a siege. I had a nice big bowl of porrage this morning with the last of the autumnal fruits to top it. Lovely!

Not been sleeping much, went to bed at 2am and got up at 6am. I need more sleep usually. My washing is nearly done but as I haven't a dryer all the clothes will have to dry on the radiators. Fun!

I'm really worried about Jani. Either her childhood asthma has returned or she has a chest infection, but she isn't breathing well. Nor is she coping in that boat of hers in the harbour. She has to use the harbour toilets as hers is frozen up. Storm who is totally adapted to extreme cold went skidding across the ice, she enjoyed the experience though. The walk off her boat on to the harbourside is very icy and she needs to hold on to things or fall. Her gas (that really is cooking gas and not petrol for cars) is frozen and so is her water, she can't even use her sink to throw used water away. Her boat is cold and damp and although she has a tiny wood burning stove in the middle cabin the heat isn't travelling far. Her cabin door froze stuck yesterday. I have sent emails to her saying she can share my studio flat until the weather is better (which might be another 2 weeks) I have spare mattresses and I can put one down in the kitchen if needs be. All I need to do now is wait until i think she's awake again and phone and twist her arm

C just phoned to ask me to do a tarot reading for her. It was an emerency and I was to pull the cards and phone her back straight away. I was to ask if she had a heart attack yesterday morning, if no, then ask if it was only angina! She wouldn't let me give her the advice to seek out her doctor until I had done the pull.

I did the pull and it was inconclusive either way but as the Chariot came up as the first card in each question, I was able to get her to go to the doctors. bizzare!